Planning vs. Spontaneity

I’ve been a planner for as long as I remember.

Even in middle school I was always trying to organize my daily schedule in my head: practices, school, projects, homework, organizations and time to chat on MSN messenger. Planning my New Year’s and Birthday parties, I’d have a master sheet of the invite list, food to buy, games to play, even the cleaning duties list the day of the party. I don’t think we as planners should be looked at as boring, mundane and over organized, but rather so excited for the future that we can’t help but start to plan it; an efficient organizer that feeds off of the high of anticipation. We can visualize the future as a success, and we want to get started right away!

Unfortunately, with all of the excitement and expectations, comes the opportunity for disappointment; the anxiety of focusing on the details of something that might not even happen. Wasted time, energy and sometimes, even money.

On the contrary, there are times of spontaneity, and those are the times that can end up being most memorable. By being spontaneous, one can absorb the present and react to what is happening here and now because they are extremely aware of their surroundings. With non-existent expectations, the risk of being disappointed by a cancelation is practically non-existent.

However, these people can also establish a reputation of being unreliable and hard to coordinate with which can be disappointing and frustrating to others.

 So which is better?

Both!

Finding the balance between the two will create an opportunity to fulfill the planner and adventurer inside of you. So how do you find that middle sweet spot?

-Work with time chunks.

Planners: Schedule chunks of time to be open and ready for spontaneity. This will allow you to keep the structure without the expectations to details.

Spontaneous: Try to establish a time chunk for coordinating with others.

Work together: Use time ranges to coordinate rather than to-the-minute, on-the-dot details.

-Find flexible activities.

Planners: Choose an activity that doesn’t require a set start-time. Ex: reservations at dinner vs. open house get-together.

Spontaneous: Coordinate with others to choose the location that will sync well with your spontaneity.

Work together: By coordinating around a location near the spontaneous, and an activity that doesn’t require a specific start time, it allows for casual expectations and meeting arrangements.

-Be less demanding.

Planners: Don’t ask others to be definitive.

Spontaneous: Avoid vague answers such as, “maybe,” “we’ll see” or “I don’t know/care.”

Work together: By using neutral words, neither side feels attacked or under-valued.