Planning vs. Spontaneity

I’ve been a planner for as long as I remember.

Even in middle school I was always trying to organize my daily schedule in my head: practices, school, projects, homework, organizations and time to chat on MSN messenger. Planning my New Year’s and Birthday parties, I’d have a master sheet of the invite list, food to buy, games to play, even the cleaning duties list the day of the party. I don’t think we as planners should be looked at as boring, mundane and over organized, but rather so excited for the future that we can’t help but start to plan it; an efficient organizer that feeds off of the high of anticipation. We can visualize the future as a success, and we want to get started right away!

Unfortunately, with all of the excitement and expectations, comes the opportunity for disappointment; the anxiety of focusing on the details of something that might not even happen. Wasted time, energy and sometimes, even money.

On the contrary, there are times of spontaneity, and those are the times that can end up being most memorable. By being spontaneous, one can absorb the present and react to what is happening here and now because they are extremely aware of their surroundings. With non-existent expectations, the risk of being disappointed by a cancelation is practically non-existent.

However, these people can also establish a reputation of being unreliable and hard to coordinate with which can be disappointing and frustrating to others.

 So which is better?

Both!

Finding the balance between the two will create an opportunity to fulfill the planner and adventurer inside of you. So how do you find that middle sweet spot?

-Work with time chunks.

Planners: Schedule chunks of time to be open and ready for spontaneity. This will allow you to keep the structure without the expectations to details.

Spontaneous: Try to establish a time chunk for coordinating with others.

Work together: Use time ranges to coordinate rather than to-the-minute, on-the-dot details.

-Find flexible activities.

Planners: Choose an activity that doesn’t require a set start-time. Ex: reservations at dinner vs. open house get-together.

Spontaneous: Coordinate with others to choose the location that will sync well with your spontaneity.

Work together: By coordinating around a location near the spontaneous, and an activity that doesn’t require a specific start time, it allows for casual expectations and meeting arrangements.

-Be less demanding.

Planners: Don’t ask others to be definitive.

Spontaneous: Avoid vague answers such as, “maybe,” “we’ll see” or “I don’t know/care.”

Work together: By using neutral words, neither side feels attacked or under-valued.

Old Year Resolutions

I don’t remember them. I don’t even remember if I made any. Moreover, I’m unsure where the concept to make a promise to oneself to initiate a 180° turn in 365 days originated.

With intense pressure we enforce great expectations upon ourselves through verbal affirmations to rewire our habitual patterns to the betterment of ourselves, thus the betterment of our households and our small community.

Predictably it begins with dieting. Always something health related: To streamline our lives; to fall in love; to stay in love; to live life to the fullest and inspire others to do the same.

Inevitably somewhere on that resolution list is the promise that we will keep the list. But they don’t last. Statistically only 8% keep their resolution list. In an effort to console our lack of fortitude we compare our minute success to last year’s missteps, thinking that our one baby step to losing weight this year was found in purchasing a book on weight loss - or perhaps it was validated by watching a Jillian Michaels and Bob Harper faceoff. We began the attempt, at least.

We are creatures of habits and yet we can’t create these good habits.

So I have to ask myself, since relocating to the new Worx office, does my new Thursday regime of taking the batteries out of my Mac have to do with my Friday paycheck or is it a good habit? Does it have to do with a purple post-it note firmly attached to the bottom of my screen? Does it have to do with the adverse repercussions of the inability of mouse and keyboard usage come my next workday on Tuesday? I need my batteries charged. So I need to take my batteries out.

If I think of every new habit as a “Thursday” with a “Friday” outcome will my resolutions be easier to keep? (Thursday keepers surround me; perhaps that plays a significant element towards my desire to succeed.)

This past year was one of the best I’ve encountered. I sat down and itemized the issues that were insurmountable that I now had graduated:

Seven.

There were seven notable ones.

They didn’t happen overnight.

They didn’t happen in just 365 days.

They took months and months of re-correcting bad habits into habits of thankfulness and tenacity and daily talks to the higher power. They took purple post-it notes and Thursdays.

So many are ready to be out with the old and in with the new.

But it took an honest look into the day of old that helped me before I could prepare myself for the coming days of 2015. Before I could contemplate the next Thursday and Friday.

To be a good driver, it’s firmly recommended you have to look in the rear view mirror every 5 seconds. My rear view mirror is focused on Thursday and its symbolic resolutions. They are not just my New Year’s resolutions - they are daily, weekly, hourly - whatever measure of time they need to be, to improve my lifestyle.

In order for me to make my outcome a success, I’m going to check on Thursday every once in a while and I’m inviting you to the same. Whether it’s mine to keep me in line or you find your own version of Thursday this coming year, let’s resolve to check back every 5 seconds or so…

Let’s meet our Old Year Resolutions, before we make new New Year’s Resolutions.