Facing Your Fears

Fear is a 4-letter word all of us are familiar with. Some experience it less than others. Some are fearful; some are fearless. It’s even referenced in Brandstarter with the clever acronym “False Expectations Appearing Real.”

To celebrate 8 years since Laura opened the doors of Worx, we had a team birthday party. No balloons and streamers here, though. Instead, a 22’ pole, rope ladders, zip-lining, a huge swing and tightropes through tree canopies. It was a fun day overall, but every single one of us achieved personal goals and faced some major fears.

How do you know when you’re feeling “fear”? Does your heart race? Does your mind think of worst-case scenario endings? Do you shake from head to toe? We all felt a combination of those feelings when in reality our lives were not in danger. We had the proper safety equipment, a trained professional and our team to rely on. We all admit to repeating the same question and answer in our heads throughout the day.

“Will I die?” “No.”

During the climb of the 22’ pole, my body was shaking; I had to pause to control my breathing. I wanted to get to the top more than anything. The harness was attached to a rope that was being held by other members in my group. If I fell, I wouldn’t get hurt. Reaching the top and standing tall was liberating and joyful. I faced my fear, and I lived! So, while there are legitimate things to make you fear for your life in this world, most of the ones we face for personal or professional advancement isn’t life or death. 

The entire day, the bond grew stronger between the team as a whole and between each of us individually. To know we could rely on others, and we were willing to help each other in any way, demonstrated the importance of a team. 

Whether it’s your company, your family or a group of friends or a group of strangers, who is there during the initial fear? Can you count on them? A support team of motivators can really elevate your progress and successes.

While my favorite activity was the zip-line, the swing was also quite the adrenaline rush. As the harness attached to the rope is pulled by the rest of your team, raising you into the air, you feel it click into place. The only thing left to do is pull the lever. This frees the attached person from the rope stabilizing their height and allows you (and me, in this case) to fall and swing above the trees. The only way I was able to pull the lever was not hesitating. If you think about it too much, over-analyze the situation; you’ll never pull it. So with a green light from Clive (our man of the day!), I pulled the lever and experienced an amazing flying sensation.

The most challenging part of the day for me was the tight ropes between the trees. Constantly stabilizing my body and weight for 45 minutes straight literally led to muscle failure. I was completely exhausted physically and mentally. How can you avoid exhaustion? Pause when you need too, refuel as you go. Realize you are stronger than you think and keep going. Muster up that one last UMPH! to keep going. While I had to pause and regather my thoughts, I had special people around me helping me to appreciate my progress rather than feeling the frustration of my apparent weakness.

So, the next time you face fear, whether it’s starting a new job, giving a speech, or bungee jumping, ask yourself:

Who is there to help me?

How will it feel to overcome this fear?

How can I pace myself mentally and physically in order to succeed?

If you're interested in facing similar fears in an outdoor adventure atmosphere, visit upwardenterprises.com

D Minus Makes All The Difference

There is a song I used to sing constantly. And rightly so because it was derived from a movie that I constantly watched. And why not when it featured Julie Andrews as a mountain climber, a child tamer and Catholic rebel rouser. (Unlike Whoopi Goldberg in the Sister Act who sought refuge amongst the nuns so none of her nemesis could find her.)

Yes, the beloved based on a true story, The Sound of Music!

I feel we are already off to a bad start. Three words into this blog and I mislead you. There is A song. Singular? All those von Trapp songs played a vital role in my childhood but one of those songs I remixed the other day. As the snow came tumbling down in the middle of March, I, in my off-tune, off-beat over zealous, extremely loud voice, belted out:

“I have confidence in winter. I have confidence in snow. I have confidence that spring will come again, besides what you see I have confidence it will flee!”

So maybe my parody isn’t YouTube’s #1 watched reaching millions in just minutes. Maybe it doesn’t even make sense. But it made me stop and realize that snow is summer’s precipitation at a much, much colder temperature.

And I have confidence that it will flee.

That it will flee, not that we will flee. We can’t speed it up. We can’t rush it. We can’t force it. Spring must come on its own. But we don’t have to stand still. Together we’re going to rediscover spring.

We’re going to D Minus life.

1) D-clutter: Spring has sprung. And when it comes to the homeowner, renter or anyone who is trying to dust off the stubborn remnants of winter off their shoulder, they spring clean. Purge. J.C. Penny’s latest slogan? If it fits, you feel it. The D Minus way of living? If it’s too tight, too loose, you don’t wear, the color is puce or the buttons are about to pop, D-clutter.

2) D-stress: Is it just me or did we all get plowed up together amidst the snow and salt of life and piled high in shopping center parking lots, packed tight by the boom of the plow, waiting for weeks of sun to melt us so we can loosen our joints and jog our merry way home? 

No?

Okay, but seriously, what happened to hibernating? We have been extremely blessed with opportunities to exercise our creativity and network with like-minded people and meet new individuals, and yet less time to get to know ourselves and our families. Did you know my nearly 6-year-old nephew can make brownies from scratch? Neither did I.

3) D-activate: It may seem numbing to be neutral for a while, to just enjoy the quiet of life, even if everything is loud around you, but it’s a most refreshing state of being. All those wise written words about the ability of hearing more when you’re quiet. Though it may take time to adjust and appreciate, it is true. It’s like Winston Churchill expounds, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is what it also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

So it shows; the D Minus life is an act of courage. It’s a life of contentment. And ultimately it's a statement of confidence in knowing who you were, who you are and who you want to be one day.

Stop to Celebrate

Too often, we find ourselves working day-to-day, finishing to-do lists, completing a difficult task or wrapping up a huge project just to move quickly on to the next item on our list. Being busy, non-stop, hyper-productive, it feels good right?

When you think about the word “busy,” what comes to mind? Do you often use it to describe your schedule? Your workload? Your entire lifestyle? Think of using the word “busy” as the equivalent to purposely giving someone the busy signal. Describing yourself as busy can make you seem inaccessible. Instead, challenge yourself to use more accurate and positive synonyms. Below are a few examples:

- Blessed with many projects

- Fortunate to have numerous ongoing clients

- Not boring (that’s my favorite!)

Not only does it have an optimistic spin on the term “busy,” it also serves as a conversation starter. Busy feels like a door being shut; a positive phrase seems like an invitation to hear about the on-going excitement!

Within these bursts of productivity, make sure you find time (schedule it if you have to) to celebrate an accomplishment and/or milestone. Just stop for a few minutes to reflect on the success of the project. What worked? What didn’t work? What are the strengths of the project and what did you learn in the process? What will you do differently next time? What goals will it help you ultimately reach, and what recognition could this bring to you and your company?

Acknowledging your accomplishment and, ultimately, progress in your personal and career goals will help to re-motivate you to keep going. That confidence will increase your productivity so that you can continue to improve and succeed during your exciting and fulfilling schedule!

Just a Spoonful of Sugar

Several weeks ago I shared with you about a journey that began my relationship between us – Worx, you and me.

And it has been one amazing trip; every stumble that incurred, every stumble overrode, every cupcake and every 5k.

“I give it a year,” -Laura.

“I’ll take it!”-Momina

However, somewhere between that blog post and this one it happened: The performance review. The days leading up to it I somehow had convinced myself of every worse case scenario.

·      Your work is consistently overdue
·      Your work is inefficient
·      Your work is unsatisfactory
·      Your work is just not worxing

And, Lord, please no, do not let Donald Trump pop out from the minimalistic office space with comb-over  flying and finger pointing, “You’re fired!”

(Okay, that was never a fear of mine, but if you’re going to get fired, you might as well do it right.)

I took a notebook in the meeting but should I have taken a Kleenex box instead?

And call me a girl but I did cry, yet for different reasons.

I’m an addict of The Office and there are two kinds of employees in that show when it came to their performance reviews: Those trying to get promotions. And those trying to avoid the review altogether.

I didn’t want to avoid the review.

I didn’t want a promotion.

I wanted confirmation to my mental diatribe.

But ultimately I didn’t know what I needed.

Laura did. (Huh. Guess that’s why she’s my boss. My leader.)

You see, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

And, what I was lacking was confidence in my work.

·      My work was not overdue.
·      My work was not inefficient
·      My work was not unsatisfactory

It wasn’t about my worxing capabilities. It was about my confidence capabilities. And with a spoonful of sugar the medicine, the performance review, went down quite well. Quite well, indeed. And that began my confidence boost.

We all suffer from self-doubt and self- consciousness at some time in our lives:

It’s what we do with those insecurities that matter most.

• Step One: Own It – You have a skill set, so use it no matter what others may say about it. Even when you have doubts: Do it. Even when times are tough: Keep tackling it. Others may even see things in you that you cannot see for yourself.

• Step Two: Speak It – I went in my meeting and spoke the mental battle aloud. Confront what’s troubling you, and you are one step closer to defeating your doubts.

• Step Three: Critique It – Sometimes those concerns may be real; there’s always room for improvement. Medicine isn’t intended to change you; it’s intended to nourish and heal you.

• Step Four: Celebrate It – Whether it’s a high-five, a five-star review, a five-year anniversary or five consecutive days of being on time, accept the compliments. Accept client testimonies on your behalf and allow them to replace your self-doubt.

No matter your body type, the time of day or what your doctor says – a spoonful of sugar always helps the medicine go down. Some of us may just need a pinch, others a sip. Some need an entire cup, but no matter what just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.

Maybe I’m one of those that needed a cup, but I’m building my Vitamin C (confidence) deficiency back up.

And it’s feeling mighty supercalifragilisticexpialidcious!

Live Intentionally

What does “Living Intentionally” mean anyway?

It’s all about not living on auto-pilot. We all have very busy lives, with many people and things that need our attention. So, how do we naturally just become more aware of the purpose behind our actions? Ask yourself questions. Don’t overwhelm yourself by over-thinking every situation, but become aware of the reason for your action, even if it’s after-the-fact. Better late than never and you’ll get to know yourself, your habits and preferences on a deeper level.

1. Let’s start with people. Who do you surround yourself with? Do they better you?

If yes, how? And then, how can you meet more people like that? Grow your positive circle of people who push you, encourage you and love you.

If no, why? What do they say or do that isn’t helping you become a better person? Are you exchanging negativity equally? Have you talked to them about their effect (or lack thereof) on you? What requires you to be around them? Really push for a solution by either bettering the relationship or ending it. You deserve to be happy. So be aware and take responsibility for your surroundings and relationships.

2. Next up, actions.

Do you say and do things that are helpful? Are you aware of other drivers on the road or do you drive aggressively and with frustration? Do you hold doors open for others or are you always in a hurry? When you decide what to eat, are you choosing something that nurtures your body and health or is it an impulse treat? Learning to slow down and think before acting is a struggle for everyone, but once conquered leads to a less stressful, happier and more rewarding daily routine.

3. Last but not least, stuff.

When you buy something, is it necessary? Is it serving a very specific and beneficial purpose or is it an impulse purchase that is filling a void or hiding an emotion? Allow yourself to be vulnerable to your own mind. What void is that “stuff” filling?   Address those feelings or the need to hoard things. Your life will be more organized on a physical, emotional and mental level.

Practice being aware of the reason you do things on a daily basis. As you slowly become more aware of your actions and the purpose behind them, the more you can mold yourself with intention of becoming the best version of you that you want to become.