Facing Your Fears

Fear is a 4-letter word all of us are familiar with. Some experience it less than others. Some are fearful; some are fearless. It’s even referenced in Brandstarter with the clever acronym “False Expectations Appearing Real.”

To celebrate 8 years since Laura opened the doors of Worx, we had a team birthday party. No balloons and streamers here, though. Instead, a 22’ pole, rope ladders, zip-lining, a huge swing and tightropes through tree canopies. It was a fun day overall, but every single one of us achieved personal goals and faced some major fears.

How do you know when you’re feeling “fear”? Does your heart race? Does your mind think of worst-case scenario endings? Do you shake from head to toe? We all felt a combination of those feelings when in reality our lives were not in danger. We had the proper safety equipment, a trained professional and our team to rely on. We all admit to repeating the same question and answer in our heads throughout the day.

“Will I die?” “No.”

During the climb of the 22’ pole, my body was shaking; I had to pause to control my breathing. I wanted to get to the top more than anything. The harness was attached to a rope that was being held by other members in my group. If I fell, I wouldn’t get hurt. Reaching the top and standing tall was liberating and joyful. I faced my fear, and I lived! So, while there are legitimate things to make you fear for your life in this world, most of the ones we face for personal or professional advancement isn’t life or death. 

The entire day, the bond grew stronger between the team as a whole and between each of us individually. To know we could rely on others, and we were willing to help each other in any way, demonstrated the importance of a team. 

Whether it’s your company, your family or a group of friends or a group of strangers, who is there during the initial fear? Can you count on them? A support team of motivators can really elevate your progress and successes.

While my favorite activity was the zip-line, the swing was also quite the adrenaline rush. As the harness attached to the rope is pulled by the rest of your team, raising you into the air, you feel it click into place. The only thing left to do is pull the lever. This frees the attached person from the rope stabilizing their height and allows you (and me, in this case) to fall and swing above the trees. The only way I was able to pull the lever was not hesitating. If you think about it too much, over-analyze the situation; you’ll never pull it. So with a green light from Clive (our man of the day!), I pulled the lever and experienced an amazing flying sensation.

The most challenging part of the day for me was the tight ropes between the trees. Constantly stabilizing my body and weight for 45 minutes straight literally led to muscle failure. I was completely exhausted physically and mentally. How can you avoid exhaustion? Pause when you need too, refuel as you go. Realize you are stronger than you think and keep going. Muster up that one last UMPH! to keep going. While I had to pause and regather my thoughts, I had special people around me helping me to appreciate my progress rather than feeling the frustration of my apparent weakness.

So, the next time you face fear, whether it’s starting a new job, giving a speech, or bungee jumping, ask yourself:

Who is there to help me?

How will it feel to overcome this fear?

How can I pace myself mentally and physically in order to succeed?

If you're interested in facing similar fears in an outdoor adventure atmosphere, visit upwardenterprises.com

Make Friends Like a Grown Up

As an adult, you would think communication is skill that would be mastered by now. Each day we send, receive and handle a boatload of messages. Beyond simply exchanging information, the emotion behind each message needs to be understood to properly communicate. Non-verbal cues, listening, managing stress in the moment and understanding the emotions of you and others are important to establishing trust and cultivating good relationships. Good communication skills can help you to communicate negative or difficult messages without creating friction or ruining that trust. Whether you have them or not, these skills can be learned at any age:

Not only should you understand what a person is saying, but also how they feel about what they’re saying. Give them your full attention - texting, doodling or daydreaming is not really listening.

Listening is not simply waiting for your turn to talk. Steer clear of interrupting or redirecting the conversation to your concerns. For example, “If you think that’s bad…” devalues what your friend is saying. Even if you don’t agree, try not to judge and hear them out.

We communicate what we really care about with our body language. Facial expressions, body movement and gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, your muscle tension, and even your breathing tells someone more about how you are feeling than words alone ever can. Go people watching (a favorite of mine) to see how they communicate. Try to imagine their relationship, what they’re talking about and how they feel about it.

Next time you are nervous about a social situation, walk into a room smiling and standing tall. Even if you aren’t feeling it, using body language to convey positive feelings when you are anxious can put the other person at ease while making you appear more confident.

You can’t always go for a run when stress happens, but there are some things you can do to relieve the tension in the moment. The first step is being able to recognize when you are becoming stressed. You body will tense up, or you may feel uneasiness in your belly. Take a moment to calm down, take a deep breath, or think of something soothing to you. You could always try to find humor in the situation to diffuse and disarm people. And sometimes, compromise is the best solution. If someone cares way more than you do, is it worth the energy?

Emotional awareness – the consciousness of your moment-to-moment emotional experience – and the ability to manage your feelings are essential to effective communication. Awareness helps you to understand and empathize with what is really bothering someone, what is really bothering you, and what you really want. It helps you to understand another point of view, even if you don’t agree. And ultimately, it helps you to build strong, trusting relationships.