Facing Your Fears

Fear is a 4-letter word all of us are familiar with. Some experience it less than others. Some are fearful; some are fearless. It’s even referenced in Brandstarter with the clever acronym “False Expectations Appearing Real.”

To celebrate 8 years since Laura opened the doors of Worx, we had a team birthday party. No balloons and streamers here, though. Instead, a 22’ pole, rope ladders, zip-lining, a huge swing and tightropes through tree canopies. It was a fun day overall, but every single one of us achieved personal goals and faced some major fears.

How do you know when you’re feeling “fear”? Does your heart race? Does your mind think of worst-case scenario endings? Do you shake from head to toe? We all felt a combination of those feelings when in reality our lives were not in danger. We had the proper safety equipment, a trained professional and our team to rely on. We all admit to repeating the same question and answer in our heads throughout the day.

“Will I die?” “No.”

During the climb of the 22’ pole, my body was shaking; I had to pause to control my breathing. I wanted to get to the top more than anything. The harness was attached to a rope that was being held by other members in my group. If I fell, I wouldn’t get hurt. Reaching the top and standing tall was liberating and joyful. I faced my fear, and I lived! So, while there are legitimate things to make you fear for your life in this world, most of the ones we face for personal or professional advancement isn’t life or death. 

The entire day, the bond grew stronger between the team as a whole and between each of us individually. To know we could rely on others, and we were willing to help each other in any way, demonstrated the importance of a team. 

Whether it’s your company, your family or a group of friends or a group of strangers, who is there during the initial fear? Can you count on them? A support team of motivators can really elevate your progress and successes.

While my favorite activity was the zip-line, the swing was also quite the adrenaline rush. As the harness attached to the rope is pulled by the rest of your team, raising you into the air, you feel it click into place. The only thing left to do is pull the lever. This frees the attached person from the rope stabilizing their height and allows you (and me, in this case) to fall and swing above the trees. The only way I was able to pull the lever was not hesitating. If you think about it too much, over-analyze the situation; you’ll never pull it. So with a green light from Clive (our man of the day!), I pulled the lever and experienced an amazing flying sensation.

The most challenging part of the day for me was the tight ropes between the trees. Constantly stabilizing my body and weight for 45 minutes straight literally led to muscle failure. I was completely exhausted physically and mentally. How can you avoid exhaustion? Pause when you need too, refuel as you go. Realize you are stronger than you think and keep going. Muster up that one last UMPH! to keep going. While I had to pause and regather my thoughts, I had special people around me helping me to appreciate my progress rather than feeling the frustration of my apparent weakness.

So, the next time you face fear, whether it’s starting a new job, giving a speech, or bungee jumping, ask yourself:

Who is there to help me?

How will it feel to overcome this fear?

How can I pace myself mentally and physically in order to succeed?

If you're interested in facing similar fears in an outdoor adventure atmosphere, visit upwardenterprises.com

Live Intentionally

What does “Living Intentionally” mean anyway?

It’s all about not living on auto-pilot. We all have very busy lives, with many people and things that need our attention. So, how do we naturally just become more aware of the purpose behind our actions? Ask yourself questions. Don’t overwhelm yourself by over-thinking every situation, but become aware of the reason for your action, even if it’s after-the-fact. Better late than never and you’ll get to know yourself, your habits and preferences on a deeper level.

1. Let’s start with people. Who do you surround yourself with? Do they better you?

If yes, how? And then, how can you meet more people like that? Grow your positive circle of people who push you, encourage you and love you.

If no, why? What do they say or do that isn’t helping you become a better person? Are you exchanging negativity equally? Have you talked to them about their effect (or lack thereof) on you? What requires you to be around them? Really push for a solution by either bettering the relationship or ending it. You deserve to be happy. So be aware and take responsibility for your surroundings and relationships.

2. Next up, actions.

Do you say and do things that are helpful? Are you aware of other drivers on the road or do you drive aggressively and with frustration? Do you hold doors open for others or are you always in a hurry? When you decide what to eat, are you choosing something that nurtures your body and health or is it an impulse treat? Learning to slow down and think before acting is a struggle for everyone, but once conquered leads to a less stressful, happier and more rewarding daily routine.

3. Last but not least, stuff.

When you buy something, is it necessary? Is it serving a very specific and beneficial purpose or is it an impulse purchase that is filling a void or hiding an emotion? Allow yourself to be vulnerable to your own mind. What void is that “stuff” filling?   Address those feelings or the need to hoard things. Your life will be more organized on a physical, emotional and mental level.

Practice being aware of the reason you do things on a daily basis. As you slowly become more aware of your actions and the purpose behind them, the more you can mold yourself with intention of becoming the best version of you that you want to become.

Cartalk

It is funny; one can call in with car questions; they’ve mastered the punch-line delivery and they know their stuff. On the rare occasion I remember to tune-in, I catch them on the radio, and I make up for my disloyal fandom by following them on Facebook.

 

Rumored to be the winner of NPR’s “Most Likely to be Canceled Show” for 25 years, straight, I’m talking about Cartalk - known as an interactive radio talk show where dynamic brother duo Tom and Ray Magliozzi - the voice and DNA of the show - discuss all that is vehicular and peculiar.

 

More recently I experienced my own version of car talk.

 

What do you get when one stages an event that sticks two introverts in a car, seatbelts them in (remember – click it, or ticket!) and sends them downtown?

 

Well; we encountered a few mechanical difficulties, that even extroverts would be inexperienced with; had some coughing that mimicked barking dogs; came to complete stops around cops; listened to some fist pumping music; outsmarted construction crews, but more importantly we had a breakthrough: We didn’t just small talk, “So how is work?” and we explored more than the weather and what we would be eating for supper.

 

We were introverts who spent a lot of time around people and on the ride to and fro we learned how important it is to surround one’s self with positive people. Because over and over I learn that sometimes my own company is like stale, moldy pizza. The all-American food gone bad; a total mood killer.

But, you know, these truths are always more enlightening when someone points it out while simultaneously a light bulb (or dashboard light) flashes above your head.

 

Ask anyone who has been anywhere. If they have lived a little, it doesn’t take long to learn a lot and this is something you learn fast: Whom you spend time with… You become.

  

Who are you hanging out with? Who have you made plans with this weekend? Tonight? Tomorrow? Heck, do you work commute with, work with or, even, with whom do you putt-putt golf? Because, that’s you*.

*Okay, by You, I mean me. I made plans tonight. I made plans this weekend. Heck, I have co-workers and a boss who give me questionable looks when I open my mouth and start pacing and practicing my lunges mid-day.

And this is not the “In-ten-years-version-you.” No. This is the live edition: unfiltered, streaming up-to-date you.

 

Now, what if those same people are asking those same questions? Are *you the type of person they want to hang around? Do they want to rub shoulders with you? Will that chip on your shoulders fall from yours to theirs?

 

Be a person worth becoming: Exercise kindness, sweetness, morality, ethics, courage, honesty, faithfulness, peacefulness and you will have many strengths. Give them your shoulders, lift them up you will create giants.

The Mother’s Day Mantra

“Sooner or later we all quote our mothers.” –Bert Williams

For me that is, “Would you believe it?”

It is the preface of recounting something remarkable, good and something true: The things that to others might seem coincidental but to her are fulfilling little miracles. The stories are short, but the impact lasts long.

I love that phrase and have embraced the concept as part of my learned genetics, my inheritance. My mantra. I always look for ways I can use it in my own life. I intentionally open myself to surpassing the every day what-ifs in hopes it will drive me to call my mom and begin an anecdote with “would you believe it”.

Did you ever imagine your life would be as effective as it is right now? Did you ever dream you’d come this far? That you would have the support and the opportunities you have been given?

Your mom did. Moms are our greatest life, business and health coaches. Moms push us when we settle in quick sand rather than pursue success. The only thing moms desire of us is to never doubt our capabilities and never pass up the possibilities.

There is one day dedicated to celebrating moms. But for all those other days the greatest gift we can give our mothers is to never stop trying. Envision life as an intense workout. To quote Jillian Michaels, mother to millions in the health and fitness industry and to her own children, “Unless you puke, faint or die, keep going.” Take a break if you have to, but keep going.

Bleed. Sweat. Cry. Keep going.

Because you won’t believe what’s on the other side of your finish line.

We all have mothers that have helped us get where we are and maybe you are one of them too. Strangers, authors, family, co-workers, doctors, TV personalities, bosses, neighbors, featured stories in the local newspaper; These are the people that we encounter that challenge us to walk through the mud and come out with a miraculous “would you believe it” story.

Think of the children’s book, “I love you to the moon”. Often that gravitational defying, all-encompassing love can be masked in persistent and redundant motivational lectures. That love may aggravate us, but that love will get us to the moon, if only we have the audacity to shoot for the starts.

So, what “would you believe it” story will excite a mom this Mother’s Day?

It Starts Right Now!

It starts right now!

You know what I’m talking about, right? I’m talking about now, this very moment. The beginning of the rest of your life is definitely worth celebrating.

“We waste so many days waiting for the weekend. So many nights wanting morning. Our lust for future comfort is the biggest thief of life.” – Joshua Glenn Park

Remember being younger, wasting so much time rushing and wishing to grow up? Do you ever miss those days and wonder why? Well starting now, make the most of the rest of your life. It’s valuable time. It’s your time.

Many people accept they will just work through a mundane week: Waiting for the weekend but ending up spending the second half of the weekend dreading the upcoming week of work. That’s over 70% of our lives “waiting” for something. What are you waiting for? Make the best of everyday: Set your goals and start taking steps towards them now. No matter how small, any progress is good progress.

Whether it’s with love, happiness or teaching you valuable skills and lessons, spend your personal time with people who uplift you. Surrounding yourself with people who are going to help push you to be the best version of you and what you can be. Adjust your daily habits based on your priorities: YOUR priorities. Don’t work, wish or wait your life away. Take care of yourself and do things that will create a healthy, comfortable and long life so you can help lift someone else up. (Reference the first sentence in this paragraph… See what I did there?)

Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

It starts right now.

Small, Kind Gestures Go a Long Way

You know those little favors someone will randomly surprise you with –that helps make your day a little bit brighter? Those little acts of appreciation and kindness are, unfortunately, under-used. Little details are often overlooked: not necessarily on purpose but because in this constant world of busy-ness. These little things help others understand how much you care. It’s things like that, when they aren’t done we don’t necessarily miss, but when they are done it seems so simple, yet greatly appreciated.

Rick Hanson, author of Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science Of Contentment, Calm and Confidence, tells The Huffington Post,

“The way to "hardwire happiness" into the brain, then, is to take in the good -- being present to life's tiny, joyful moments. Lingering on the positive improves the encoding of passing mental states into lasting neural traits. That’s the key here: we’re trying to get the good stuff into us. And that means turning our passing positive experiences into lasting emotional memories.”

Below is a list of things to consider trying to incorporate into your personal/business habits. Not only to let another person know how much you care or appreciate them, but to feel good yourself as well. Spreading kindness should and can be a never-ending cycle.

      1. Send thank you cards. Hand written.

      2. Reach out to mentors when something they have taught you, helps you overcome an obstacle.

      3. Compliment others: strangers, clients, co-workers, friends and family.

      4. Practice manners. Always. Because of how busy we all are in our own lives, please, thank-you

          and holding the door open have become a rarity.

      5. With a smile say, ‘Hello’ to a passing stranger.

      6. Shake a hand. Give a hug. Say, ‘I love you’.

      7.  Teach someone, something.

      8.  Let someone out ahead in traffic.

      9. When in-line at the store, let someone with lesser items ahead of you.

    10. Offer your seat for someone that needs it more than you.