Empire State Of Mind

Do you look at the glass half empty or half full? It’s a powerful idiom that could explain a lot in terms of your current lifestyle and how the world is working for you.

It’s hard to have the “I’m going to go out there and change the world” attitude. Before you can change the world, a country, a town, a group, a person, it has to start within. Once you change the way you think, everything else on the outside will reflect to complement it.

Success isn’t something you simply fall into, success comes with patience, dedication and consistency. Ultimately however, we are directly responsible for what happens in our lives. There are ways which we can be proactive, starting with our changing perspective. Successful people go against the grain and often combat pessimism with optimism and instead of embracing excuses, embrace solutions. The trick is to take action.

There are tough scenarios that we’ve all faced, but the way we respond is the test of our greatness or a glowing example of our capabilities. It’s very easy to fall into a negative rut. If the negatives outweigh the positives, you find yourself blaming others, you haven’t seen self-growth in long time, you tend to set low expectations to avoid disappointment; then it’s time to step back and reevaluate your perspective and transform that negative energy to a positive, thriving force.

The goal is to have an empire state of mind, and no, I’m not just talking about the Jay-Z song. It’s about creating a mentality of taking control of your own life. Here are some steps you can take to develop a healthy mindset and successful you:

Be open-minded

Being open to different perspectives, suggestions, and scenarios make for a more enriching life experience. Take a leap into the unknown, others have already jumped and will catch you when you do.

Look at the glass half-full

Life is really about perception. The cup is the same, just as your life. Are you embracing the positives or harboring the negatives? If you choose to look at it with an optimism’s mindset, you are choosing the route of self-growth. It’s difficult, and life always challenges us, but like billionaire shark, investor, entrepreneur and business leader Robert Herjavec said: “Tough times never last; tough people always do.”

Learn something new

This should be a goal you set for yourself whether it be big or small achievements. Pick up a new hobby, learn about someone else’s culture. Knowledge builds your arsenal of self-worth and expands your skillset.

Strengthen your circle

You are as strong as those around you. Don’t hinder yourself by playing the blame game, it doesn’t benefit you or help the situation. Instead, take responsibility and learn from your mistakes. Strengthening your circle also means sharing news and tips and tricks, spreading positivity and support. You will find that when you invest time and sincerity into others, it is a lifelong investment that will pay off.

Stop wishing

How many times have you caught yourself saying “I wish I could do that” or “I want this, but I don’t have time.” Wishing doesn’t change anything, it’s only delaying your process to greatness. Make goals and take appropriate actions to get there. It’s even better if they are equal parts heart and head. Be logical without a defined line for the future.

Don’t fall back into the same patterns

Once you’re into the swing of things, keep going! Every now and then won’t change lives, consistency will.

Today could be the day that you head in a new direction. Tomorrow could be whatever you choose for it to be, but it’s up to you to unlock its unlimited potential.

What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us, and when you bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen. -Henry David Thoreau

Live Intentionally

What does “Living Intentionally” mean anyway?

It’s all about not living on auto-pilot. We all have very busy lives, with many people and things that need our attention. So, how do we naturally just become more aware of the purpose behind our actions? Ask yourself questions. Don’t overwhelm yourself by over-thinking every situation, but become aware of the reason for your action, even if it’s after-the-fact. Better late than never and you’ll get to know yourself, your habits and preferences on a deeper level.

1. Let’s start with people. Who do you surround yourself with? Do they better you?

If yes, how? And then, how can you meet more people like that? Grow your positive circle of people who push you, encourage you and love you.

If no, why? What do they say or do that isn’t helping you become a better person? Are you exchanging negativity equally? Have you talked to them about their effect (or lack thereof) on you? What requires you to be around them? Really push for a solution by either bettering the relationship or ending it. You deserve to be happy. So be aware and take responsibility for your surroundings and relationships.

2. Next up, actions.

Do you say and do things that are helpful? Are you aware of other drivers on the road or do you drive aggressively and with frustration? Do you hold doors open for others or are you always in a hurry? When you decide what to eat, are you choosing something that nurtures your body and health or is it an impulse treat? Learning to slow down and think before acting is a struggle for everyone, but once conquered leads to a less stressful, happier and more rewarding daily routine.

3. Last but not least, stuff.

When you buy something, is it necessary? Is it serving a very specific and beneficial purpose or is it an impulse purchase that is filling a void or hiding an emotion? Allow yourself to be vulnerable to your own mind. What void is that “stuff” filling?   Address those feelings or the need to hoard things. Your life will be more organized on a physical, emotional and mental level.

Practice being aware of the reason you do things on a daily basis. As you slowly become more aware of your actions and the purpose behind them, the more you can mold yourself with intention of becoming the best version of you that you want to become.

Communication

Learning to communicate is one of the first things we learn to do as an infant. We find ways to express our wants and needs to others without using words. As adults, somehow the use of words can make communicating more difficult. You would think it would ease the process. Learning to communicate effectively with people around us is important on a professional and personal level.

There are 3 key steps to this process:

1.  Thought: It enters your brain as a potential topic for future conversation.

2. Encoding: We as the communicator have to find the most accurate and best way to convey our ideas and thoughts to the listener.

3. Decoding: The listener has to understand and absorb our information, and we hope it is a similar translation on all levels.

Most often the communication stops at the first step. There are many more thoughts that aren’t shared with others than the ones that are, which is perfectly fine. However, when those thoughts turn into worries, concerns and topics that need to be addressed to achieve inner peace, following through steps 2 and 3 are critical. These steps can easily cause anxiety and guilt. What if I upset someone else? What if I’m crazy and no one understands me? What if I’m the only one? More than likely, the thought dwelling in your mind begging to be communicated will put you at ease once you let it out of the cage of your mind.

A few things to consider when communicating with the listener (decoder):

- Timing: Is this an appropriate time to bring this up? Consider things like time of day, how busy or distracted the listener will be and is it an appropriate setting? Nobody wants to cause a scene.

- Tone: How is the tone of your voice, body language and your heart? Be sincere without being over-dramatic.

- Technique: Are you remembering to not blame others or play victim? Are you willing to have an open-minded conversation with the listener? Are you ready to accept suggestions on how to come to a solution?

- Truth: Well… is it? Sometimes if we think something long enough, our heart and mind starts to believe it’s true. If you assume something you make an…well, you know the rest.

While it’s important to communicate both good and bad topics with others, these tips might seem more applicable in certain circumstances where communication might otherwise be uncomfortable. Communicating positive ideas and exciting thoughts might come more naturally for most people, so keep up the enthusiasm! Are you ready to improve your thought process, encoding practices and decoding skills? Try to incorporate these tips slowly into your life on personal and professional levels.

Cartalk

It is funny; one can call in with car questions; they’ve mastered the punch-line delivery and they know their stuff. On the rare occasion I remember to tune-in, I catch them on the radio, and I make up for my disloyal fandom by following them on Facebook.

 

Rumored to be the winner of NPR’s “Most Likely to be Canceled Show” for 25 years, straight, I’m talking about Cartalk - known as an interactive radio talk show where dynamic brother duo Tom and Ray Magliozzi - the voice and DNA of the show - discuss all that is vehicular and peculiar.

 

More recently I experienced my own version of car talk.

 

What do you get when one stages an event that sticks two introverts in a car, seatbelts them in (remember – click it, or ticket!) and sends them downtown?

 

Well; we encountered a few mechanical difficulties, that even extroverts would be inexperienced with; had some coughing that mimicked barking dogs; came to complete stops around cops; listened to some fist pumping music; outsmarted construction crews, but more importantly we had a breakthrough: We didn’t just small talk, “So how is work?” and we explored more than the weather and what we would be eating for supper.

 

We were introverts who spent a lot of time around people and on the ride to and fro we learned how important it is to surround one’s self with positive people. Because over and over I learn that sometimes my own company is like stale, moldy pizza. The all-American food gone bad; a total mood killer.

But, you know, these truths are always more enlightening when someone points it out while simultaneously a light bulb (or dashboard light) flashes above your head.

 

Ask anyone who has been anywhere. If they have lived a little, it doesn’t take long to learn a lot and this is something you learn fast: Whom you spend time with… You become.

  

Who are you hanging out with? Who have you made plans with this weekend? Tonight? Tomorrow? Heck, do you work commute with, work with or, even, with whom do you putt-putt golf? Because, that’s you*.

*Okay, by You, I mean me. I made plans tonight. I made plans this weekend. Heck, I have co-workers and a boss who give me questionable looks when I open my mouth and start pacing and practicing my lunges mid-day.

And this is not the “In-ten-years-version-you.” No. This is the live edition: unfiltered, streaming up-to-date you.

 

Now, what if those same people are asking those same questions? Are *you the type of person they want to hang around? Do they want to rub shoulders with you? Will that chip on your shoulders fall from yours to theirs?

 

Be a person worth becoming: Exercise kindness, sweetness, morality, ethics, courage, honesty, faithfulness, peacefulness and you will have many strengths. Give them your shoulders, lift them up you will create giants.