Empire State Of Mind

Do you look at the glass half empty or half full? It’s a powerful idiom that could explain a lot in terms of your current lifestyle and how the world is working for you.

It’s hard to have the “I’m going to go out there and change the world” attitude. Before you can change the world, a country, a town, a group, a person, it has to start within. Once you change the way you think, everything else on the outside will reflect to complement it.

Success isn’t something you simply fall into, success comes with patience, dedication and consistency. Ultimately however, we are directly responsible for what happens in our lives. There are ways which we can be proactive, starting with our changing perspective. Successful people go against the grain and often combat pessimism with optimism and instead of embracing excuses, embrace solutions. The trick is to take action.

There are tough scenarios that we’ve all faced, but the way we respond is the test of our greatness or a glowing example of our capabilities. It’s very easy to fall into a negative rut. If the negatives outweigh the positives, you find yourself blaming others, you haven’t seen self-growth in long time, you tend to set low expectations to avoid disappointment; then it’s time to step back and reevaluate your perspective and transform that negative energy to a positive, thriving force.

The goal is to have an empire state of mind, and no, I’m not just talking about the Jay-Z song. It’s about creating a mentality of taking control of your own life. Here are some steps you can take to develop a healthy mindset and successful you:

Be open-minded

Being open to different perspectives, suggestions, and scenarios make for a more enriching life experience. Take a leap into the unknown, others have already jumped and will catch you when you do.

Look at the glass half-full

Life is really about perception. The cup is the same, just as your life. Are you embracing the positives or harboring the negatives? If you choose to look at it with an optimism’s mindset, you are choosing the route of self-growth. It’s difficult, and life always challenges us, but like billionaire shark, investor, entrepreneur and business leader Robert Herjavec said: “Tough times never last; tough people always do.”

Learn something new

This should be a goal you set for yourself whether it be big or small achievements. Pick up a new hobby, learn about someone else’s culture. Knowledge builds your arsenal of self-worth and expands your skillset.

Strengthen your circle

You are as strong as those around you. Don’t hinder yourself by playing the blame game, it doesn’t benefit you or help the situation. Instead, take responsibility and learn from your mistakes. Strengthening your circle also means sharing news and tips and tricks, spreading positivity and support. You will find that when you invest time and sincerity into others, it is a lifelong investment that will pay off.

Stop wishing

How many times have you caught yourself saying “I wish I could do that” or “I want this, but I don’t have time.” Wishing doesn’t change anything, it’s only delaying your process to greatness. Make goals and take appropriate actions to get there. It’s even better if they are equal parts heart and head. Be logical without a defined line for the future.

Don’t fall back into the same patterns

Once you’re into the swing of things, keep going! Every now and then won’t change lives, consistency will.

Today could be the day that you head in a new direction. Tomorrow could be whatever you choose for it to be, but it’s up to you to unlock its unlimited potential.

What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us, and when you bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen. -Henry David Thoreau

The Gist of The Matter

We may not have met in person. We may not have shook hands – and if we ever do, I like a good firm, handshake. If we haven’t high-five'd, I like them just like that. High. No low fives and definitely no you’re-too-slow-fives that the youths of America jokingly initiate. 

However, we have met here before. Therefore, I think it’s a safe platform that I can bypass the weather and go straight into a heart-to-heart (or fist-bump to fist-bump if you prefer) discussion and delve into a not-so-secret secret. Ready?

I like to paint. I like to create beautiful imagery. Sometimes I use pens. Sometimes I use pencils. But in circumstances such as this, I depend on a keyboard and upon the connectivity between two screens.

You see, I like to paint pictures for people where the medium is words, not acrylics or watercolors.

But after pouring my attention, my spine and sometimes my water over the keyboard to develop every detail into bringing to life the pepperonis of a pizza shop, restoring the chipped paint of a dilapidated warehouse, or helping fill the cavity of a toddler’s on his first visit to the dentist, I need a break.

I need to lift my head slowly (so as to avoid whiplash), and for all those in with any physiological background, I do indeed crack my knuckles at this juncture.

When I come up to breathe from this self-induced, word-constricting comma, when I look up from my own Wonderland, I acknowledge April’s thunderstorms and the thunderclouds. I see the leafless trees, the muddy walkways, and I see the soggy grounds. Also, all of this has a major impact on my soles; the soles of my shoes. Subsequently this impacts my wallet.

Because I am a realist.

Here’s the gist of the matter:

Suppose I shove away from my desk on my wheeled chair when work ends and head out on a gray, stormy day.

Then, like an incompetent baker who can’t crack eggs, the clouds break open and the water sloshes on me. And what appears to be only me. Even though this isn’t really true. I am wet, but onward I walk.

Ahead a gentleman is getting in his car, shaking out his umbrella as he begins to collapse it and back into his sedan. (How does the general population accomplish that feat so elegantly? So inconspicuously?)

As I approach closer, he calls out, “Hey, I don’t need this anymore! I’m obviously heading out. You can have this-”

“Oh thanks, but I couldn’t. Are you sur-”

“…for 20 bucks. Even.”

“Oh, um, I only have $15 on me.”

“I’ll take it.”

Sold.

And that my friends is the gist of the matter.

• As a realist, I acknowledge that this person is taking advantage of an opportune moment. It’s very economically advantageous of him.

• An optimist individual might give him the benefit of the doubt thinking this person is attempting to make some much-needed money for his family, even pulling out the emergency $50 from his or her wallet.

• A pessimist doesn’t buy the umbrella because he or she assumes it doesn’t work. Actually, a pessimist may never have left the office because, “Chicken Little: The sky is falling!”

The gist of the matter is we’re going to encounter rainy days. (Quite literally, now that it is April!) The clouds will crack open from above us. There will be puddles. So eventually we will have to go through them.

It’s how we go through them that matters most.

The gist of the matter is we’re going to get muddy. It’s a fact. But even mud is good for our skin, right?

Unthink to Destress

Stress makes you think that everything has to happen right now. This is an unrealistic, perfectionist point of view and I actively have to unthink myself out of this mentality from time to time. It is inescapable but how you handle stress is your choice. Here are some healthy ways to deal with it:

No one can drive the car unless you give him or her the keys. You cannot control the actions of other people, but you can control your reaction. Some food for thought: can you change the situation. If there is something you can do to improve how things are, then do it.  If not, worrying won’t change a thing.

Have a little less attitude and a little more gratitude. Our outlook has a profound effect on the way we deal with stressful situations. Negative attitudes (from others or yourself) can affect our spiritual, physical and mental wellbeing.

Relax. I cannot say this enough. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will not be equipped to take care of others. It is OK to focus on you for a little while; find something you enjoy and do it every day. It will give you fulfillment, and you will be more prepared for hurdles along the way.

Will this matter a year from now? A month? A week? Looking at the big picture will help you put things into perspective. If it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, you shouldn’t waste any energy worrying about it.

Stress is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to be. All of us need a reminder from time to time that we have total power over how stress affects us – if we don’t manage it, it can control us.