Just a Spoonful of Sugar

Several weeks ago I shared with you about a journey that began my relationship between us – Worx, you and me.

And it has been one amazing trip; every stumble that incurred, every stumble overrode, every cupcake and every 5k.

“I give it a year,” -Laura.

“I’ll take it!”-Momina

However, somewhere between that blog post and this one it happened: The performance review. The days leading up to it I somehow had convinced myself of every worse case scenario.

·      Your work is consistently overdue
·      Your work is inefficient
·      Your work is unsatisfactory
·      Your work is just not worxing

And, Lord, please no, do not let Donald Trump pop out from the minimalistic office space with comb-over  flying and finger pointing, “You’re fired!”

(Okay, that was never a fear of mine, but if you’re going to get fired, you might as well do it right.)

I took a notebook in the meeting but should I have taken a Kleenex box instead?

And call me a girl but I did cry, yet for different reasons.

I’m an addict of The Office and there are two kinds of employees in that show when it came to their performance reviews: Those trying to get promotions. And those trying to avoid the review altogether.

I didn’t want to avoid the review.

I didn’t want a promotion.

I wanted confirmation to my mental diatribe.

But ultimately I didn’t know what I needed.

Laura did. (Huh. Guess that’s why she’s my boss. My leader.)

You see, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

And, what I was lacking was confidence in my work.

·      My work was not overdue.
·      My work was not inefficient
·      My work was not unsatisfactory

It wasn’t about my worxing capabilities. It was about my confidence capabilities. And with a spoonful of sugar the medicine, the performance review, went down quite well. Quite well, indeed. And that began my confidence boost.

We all suffer from self-doubt and self- consciousness at some time in our lives:

It’s what we do with those insecurities that matter most.

• Step One: Own It – You have a skill set, so use it no matter what others may say about it. Even when you have doubts: Do it. Even when times are tough: Keep tackling it. Others may even see things in you that you cannot see for yourself.

• Step Two: Speak It – I went in my meeting and spoke the mental battle aloud. Confront what’s troubling you, and you are one step closer to defeating your doubts.

• Step Three: Critique It – Sometimes those concerns may be real; there’s always room for improvement. Medicine isn’t intended to change you; it’s intended to nourish and heal you.

• Step Four: Celebrate It – Whether it’s a high-five, a five-star review, a five-year anniversary or five consecutive days of being on time, accept the compliments. Accept client testimonies on your behalf and allow them to replace your self-doubt.

No matter your body type, the time of day or what your doctor says – a spoonful of sugar always helps the medicine go down. Some of us may just need a pinch, others a sip. Some need an entire cup, but no matter what just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.

Maybe I’m one of those that needed a cup, but I’m building my Vitamin C (confidence) deficiency back up.

And it’s feeling mighty supercalifragilisticexpialidcious!

Unthink to Destress

Stress makes you think that everything has to happen right now. This is an unrealistic, perfectionist point of view and I actively have to unthink myself out of this mentality from time to time. It is inescapable but how you handle stress is your choice. Here are some healthy ways to deal with it:

No one can drive the car unless you give him or her the keys. You cannot control the actions of other people, but you can control your reaction. Some food for thought: can you change the situation. If there is something you can do to improve how things are, then do it.  If not, worrying won’t change a thing.

Have a little less attitude and a little more gratitude. Our outlook has a profound effect on the way we deal with stressful situations. Negative attitudes (from others or yourself) can affect our spiritual, physical and mental wellbeing.

Relax. I cannot say this enough. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will not be equipped to take care of others. It is OK to focus on you for a little while; find something you enjoy and do it every day. It will give you fulfillment, and you will be more prepared for hurdles along the way.

Will this matter a year from now? A month? A week? Looking at the big picture will help you put things into perspective. If it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, you shouldn’t waste any energy worrying about it.

Stress is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to be. All of us need a reminder from time to time that we have total power over how stress affects us – if we don’t manage it, it can control us.