Just a Spoonful of Sugar

Several weeks ago I shared with you about a journey that began my relationship between us – Worx, you and me.

And it has been one amazing trip; every stumble that incurred, every stumble overrode, every cupcake and every 5k.

“I give it a year,” -Laura.

“I’ll take it!”-Momina

However, somewhere between that blog post and this one it happened: The performance review. The days leading up to it I somehow had convinced myself of every worse case scenario.

·      Your work is consistently overdue
·      Your work is inefficient
·      Your work is unsatisfactory
·      Your work is just not worxing

And, Lord, please no, do not let Donald Trump pop out from the minimalistic office space with comb-over  flying and finger pointing, “You’re fired!”

(Okay, that was never a fear of mine, but if you’re going to get fired, you might as well do it right.)

I took a notebook in the meeting but should I have taken a Kleenex box instead?

And call me a girl but I did cry, yet for different reasons.

I’m an addict of The Office and there are two kinds of employees in that show when it came to their performance reviews: Those trying to get promotions. And those trying to avoid the review altogether.

I didn’t want to avoid the review.

I didn’t want a promotion.

I wanted confirmation to my mental diatribe.

But ultimately I didn’t know what I needed.

Laura did. (Huh. Guess that’s why she’s my boss. My leader.)

You see, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

And, what I was lacking was confidence in my work.

·      My work was not overdue.
·      My work was not inefficient
·      My work was not unsatisfactory

It wasn’t about my worxing capabilities. It was about my confidence capabilities. And with a spoonful of sugar the medicine, the performance review, went down quite well. Quite well, indeed. And that began my confidence boost.

We all suffer from self-doubt and self- consciousness at some time in our lives:

It’s what we do with those insecurities that matter most.

• Step One: Own It – You have a skill set, so use it no matter what others may say about it. Even when you have doubts: Do it. Even when times are tough: Keep tackling it. Others may even see things in you that you cannot see for yourself.

• Step Two: Speak It – I went in my meeting and spoke the mental battle aloud. Confront what’s troubling you, and you are one step closer to defeating your doubts.

• Step Three: Critique It – Sometimes those concerns may be real; there’s always room for improvement. Medicine isn’t intended to change you; it’s intended to nourish and heal you.

• Step Four: Celebrate It – Whether it’s a high-five, a five-star review, a five-year anniversary or five consecutive days of being on time, accept the compliments. Accept client testimonies on your behalf and allow them to replace your self-doubt.

No matter your body type, the time of day or what your doctor says – a spoonful of sugar always helps the medicine go down. Some of us may just need a pinch, others a sip. Some need an entire cup, but no matter what just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.

Maybe I’m one of those that needed a cup, but I’m building my Vitamin C (confidence) deficiency back up.

And it’s feeling mighty supercalifragilisticexpialidcious!

The Mother’s Day Mantra

“Sooner or later we all quote our mothers.” –Bert Williams

For me that is, “Would you believe it?”

It is the preface of recounting something remarkable, good and something true: The things that to others might seem coincidental but to her are fulfilling little miracles. The stories are short, but the impact lasts long.

I love that phrase and have embraced the concept as part of my learned genetics, my inheritance. My mantra. I always look for ways I can use it in my own life. I intentionally open myself to surpassing the every day what-ifs in hopes it will drive me to call my mom and begin an anecdote with “would you believe it”.

Did you ever imagine your life would be as effective as it is right now? Did you ever dream you’d come this far? That you would have the support and the opportunities you have been given?

Your mom did. Moms are our greatest life, business and health coaches. Moms push us when we settle in quick sand rather than pursue success. The only thing moms desire of us is to never doubt our capabilities and never pass up the possibilities.

There is one day dedicated to celebrating moms. But for all those other days the greatest gift we can give our mothers is to never stop trying. Envision life as an intense workout. To quote Jillian Michaels, mother to millions in the health and fitness industry and to her own children, “Unless you puke, faint or die, keep going.” Take a break if you have to, but keep going.

Bleed. Sweat. Cry. Keep going.

Because you won’t believe what’s on the other side of your finish line.

We all have mothers that have helped us get where we are and maybe you are one of them too. Strangers, authors, family, co-workers, doctors, TV personalities, bosses, neighbors, featured stories in the local newspaper; These are the people that we encounter that challenge us to walk through the mud and come out with a miraculous “would you believe it” story.

Think of the children’s book, “I love you to the moon”. Often that gravitational defying, all-encompassing love can be masked in persistent and redundant motivational lectures. That love may aggravate us, but that love will get us to the moon, if only we have the audacity to shoot for the starts.

So, what “would you believe it” story will excite a mom this Mother’s Day?

Mr. Happy Pants

It’s always been a struggle for me to not take work home with me. Pulling out a document I had been working on several hours ago at the office: it’s a giddy, rush-of-adrenaline moment. Now, in a new environment, it’s a more intense battle. I really love what I do!

Being the new girl at work, however, I’m the outsider looking in over shoulders. Or so I thought. I’ve found it’s a safety zone for sharing. Even if I wrapped my emotional baggage in designer bags, it’s baggage nonetheless. When I noticed that the level of communication at work was essential to the momentum of the team, I realized how the empathy and wisdom they gave and gained made taking work home an even more positive thing. That baggage I carried in? It’s been lightened and can now be refilled with encouragement.

I’m learning to listen; I’ve been listened to. Now I feel like an insider.

I thought I was alone in some of my quirks and hang-ups. I told myself to shut up if the urge to speak arose. But as I listened, they listened in return and turns out, we aren’t as unique as we think when it comes to mishaps of life.

And Mr. Happy Pants? He’s the gentleman who inspired me, long ago, to smile, laugh at oneself and move on. Every time he came into my old store, he wore his ripped pants; a big L-shaped tear that created a flap right over the seat of his pants. If only his boxers had smiley faces: ) He was aware of this clothing defect, but he always smiled through the recounting of his stories… even when the things in his life were ripping him apart.

The next time I go into work I can be Mr. Happy Pants, because I work with a group of Happy Pants. They too have been ripped, but when they brought their home into work, they slipped on Happy Pants, and could take that renewed work energy home with them. Today, especially, I saw how my co-workers and boss take those Happy Pants everywhere, and I see sharing -tears, rips and all- really is caring.

What a Brand Isn't

There are several popular misconceptions about what defines a brand. A brand is not a logo. A logo or trademark serves as an identifying mark or symbol for the brand, but is not the brand itself. Second, it is not an identity system, which simply controls the use of the logo in advertising, print, web and so on. Finally, a brand is not a product or service. It isn’t something tangible and there isn’t a clear definition.

So if a brand isn’t any of these things, what the heck is it?

A brand is a how a person feels about a product, service, or company. Humans are emotional creatures, regardless of how logical we think we are. Companies cannot control how people feel, but they can do a lot to influence it. A positive feeling can be achieved through creating a great consumer experience. The only comparison that can be made between a company and its competitors is to define what makes them different. This can include everything from the design of the print collateral and website to the way employees interact with customers. 

If people have a positive feeling about your company, you have a pretty good brand. If they have an emotional connection to your brand and they can’t live without it, you have an extraordinary brand.

The Paralyzer: Options

People like you and I that have what I like to call "The Burn." It's that deep burning desire in your gut that you can't quite explain to anyone. Often times we have so many ideas stirring in our heads that we are paralyzed by our own fear. The bottom line is, we create too many options!

Being a maximizer (a term developed by researcher Barry Schwartz) is our paralyzer. It's when we have so many decisions and choices to make that we loose site of which ones matter and which ones are an emotional distraction. Instead, he advises us to be "satisficers," a combo of being satisfied and sufficing. This means setting your minimum standard, making the decision and moving on.

Author Valorie Burton gave a great example of being a satisficer in her book Successful Women Think Differently. Lets say you need a new couch. You spend endless hours searching the internet, looking though sales papers and driving all over town to look at couches. What happens? Most of us get overwhelmed with the options, start over thinking the situation and end up not buying the couch. OR you get the couch just to keep looking to see if you may have missed a "good deal." This, ladies and gentlemen, is a maximizer.

(insert screeching tire sound here) STOP. Instead, be a satisficer! Set your minimum standards and move forward. They might look something like this:

"I need a couch and have set the following standards:
     • Color: Brown
     • Seats: 3
     • Budget: $500
     • Material: Suede"

 

Start your search and the minute you find a brown suede couch with 3 cushions for less that $500, BUY IT. Don't continue to look. Don't walk down the "what if" road. But the couch, take it home and enjoy it. And most importantly, let the decision go at that point. By being a satisficer, you don't need to continue researching. You've now cleared your mind for the next decision.

The best part about being a satisficer is being able to use it in life, business, love, spirituality, financially and in health. Imagine if you could free your mind of those paralyzing decisions that need to be made. You can! All it takes is a little mindset shift. What decisions will you make today?

"Studies show we fear an unknown outcome more than we fear a known bad outcome. But in order to try something new, we must overcome our fear of the unknown."  -Valorie Burton