Don't Miss the Boat

We are all guilty of it. You start working towards a goal, whether it is to run a 10K or join the circus and in kicks that moment of self-doubt. I get it. You are putting yourself out into the unknown, which can be scary. We all put off doing things we know we should do because of uncharted territory, what other people may think or feelings of unworthiness. Following your dreams can bring up many feelings, such as:

People won’t get it.

I don’t know enough.

What if people think it’s stupid?

Will anyone care?

My family won’t like it.

Does any of this sound like you? Don’t worry. This is your mind’s way of trying to keep you safe. If people laughed at you when you were younger, your brain is trying to prevent it from happening again. But now you are all grown up.

The first step is to understand why you are stuck. What are you putting off that would make the biggest difference in your life? Here’s a hint. It is usually that thing you keep saying you will do, or what you won’t stick with even if you know it is for your own good. Now it is up to you to push past it.

Make that conscious decision just to do it already. Henry Ford once said, “If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said a faster horse.” You can worry about what others think or get things done before that ship has sailed.

Where are you going to take action today?

You will SEE it when you BELIEVE it.

Recently I embarked on a journey unlike any other. For my 33^rd birthday I wanted to hike from Greenbrier to Harpers Ferry, crossing it off my bucket list. Thirteen hours and twenty-six miles later, my husband and I finally reached our destination. After a certain point, overcoming the pain and fatigue are more of a mental exercise than a physical one.

Many things that used to be challenging seem to get easier with time – but it isn’t easier; persistence pays off, and you get better. Every day you chip away at your trials is another day closer to reaching your goals. This is a truth that applies to many things in life. Whether you are building a brand and capturing an audience or training for a marathon, you have to take it one step at a time. Things that seem difficult now will be your warm-up down the road. I always remember a tough situation that I got through and remind myself that if I could do that, then I can do this.

A cliché quote comes to mind: when the going gets tough, the tough keep going. Clichés become that way because there is a grain of truth to them. If you can’t stop thinking about a dream, you should be living it – even if the ride is a little bumpy. Get up, brush off the mud and keep on keeping on.

You will SEE it when you BELIEVE it.

Absorb the Compliments

To this day, I still remember a class activity that affected my self-esteem and me. I never felt bad about myself and often received compliments from family and teachers. This class activity was a little different though. We each wrote our name at the top of a sheet of paper and began passing papers around the classroom. Everyone anonymously wrote a compliment on that person’s paper. The first thing I realized was that I had to compliment everyone in my class, even the kids who didn't like me or ones that I didn't talk with much. Finding and acknowledging positive traits about everyone was not as much of a challenge as I had anticipated. At the end of the activity, receiving a page full of compliments and reading through them, a grin grew across everyone’s face. It was a great activity; looking back I realize how practical and beneficial this mentality is, and should be continued on a daily basis, for a lifetime.

Receiving compliments is a challenge for many people. Approximately two thirds of compliments get rejected, credit gets passed on or they get ignored. If you gave someone a gift and when they opened it, immediately insulted it and told you to return it, how would that make you feel? Rejecting or re-insulting a compliment is much like that - Instead, we should be absorbing these feel good claims. Below are a few tips to help avoid the habit of rejecting compliments:

 

Do not:

 

Ignore it (e.g., changing the subject)

 

Refuse it (“yeah right”)

 

Feel obligated to return a compliment quickly (could come off as insincere)

 

Comeback with an insult to yourself  (“Oh, I wish I didn’t look so fat today”)

 

Seek more reassurance (“Are you sure?”)

 

 

Do:

 

Say thank you, with a smile (simple and sincere)

 

Elaborate how that makes you feel, if you feel comfortable (“Thank you for noticing! I am proud of it!”)

 

Believe it (many people forget this one)

 

Remember it (take a mental note)

 

Return a compliment later, or pay it forward (smiles and compliments are contagious)

 

Write it down (reference past compliments when you need a pick-me-up)

 

 

By following these simple rules, you are more likely to receive compliments, and sincere ones. Believe them. Embrace them. Build upon them.

 

Remembering someone complimenting a shirt, it will make you wear that shirt again, and this time with more confidence.

 

Remembering someone complimenting a presentation or project result, you will feel more confident speaking or performing that skill on the next project.

There is a difference between being confident and being cocky. I’m not saying to rub the compliments you receive in other’s faces, negatively. Reflect on compliments in private, and acknowledge your own personal strengths and gifts.

The Mother’s Day Mantra

“Sooner or later we all quote our mothers.” –Bert Williams

For me that is, “Would you believe it?”

It is the preface of recounting something remarkable, good and something true: The things that to others might seem coincidental but to her are fulfilling little miracles. The stories are short, but the impact lasts long.

I love that phrase and have embraced the concept as part of my learned genetics, my inheritance. My mantra. I always look for ways I can use it in my own life. I intentionally open myself to surpassing the every day what-ifs in hopes it will drive me to call my mom and begin an anecdote with “would you believe it”.

Did you ever imagine your life would be as effective as it is right now? Did you ever dream you’d come this far? That you would have the support and the opportunities you have been given?

Your mom did. Moms are our greatest life, business and health coaches. Moms push us when we settle in quick sand rather than pursue success. The only thing moms desire of us is to never doubt our capabilities and never pass up the possibilities.

There is one day dedicated to celebrating moms. But for all those other days the greatest gift we can give our mothers is to never stop trying. Envision life as an intense workout. To quote Jillian Michaels, mother to millions in the health and fitness industry and to her own children, “Unless you puke, faint or die, keep going.” Take a break if you have to, but keep going.

Bleed. Sweat. Cry. Keep going.

Because you won’t believe what’s on the other side of your finish line.

We all have mothers that have helped us get where we are and maybe you are one of them too. Strangers, authors, family, co-workers, doctors, TV personalities, bosses, neighbors, featured stories in the local newspaper; These are the people that we encounter that challenge us to walk through the mud and come out with a miraculous “would you believe it” story.

Think of the children’s book, “I love you to the moon”. Often that gravitational defying, all-encompassing love can be masked in persistent and redundant motivational lectures. That love may aggravate us, but that love will get us to the moon, if only we have the audacity to shoot for the starts.

So, what “would you believe it” story will excite a mom this Mother’s Day?