Absorb the Compliments

To this day, I still remember a class activity that affected my self-esteem and me. I never felt bad about myself and often received compliments from family and teachers. This class activity was a little different though. We each wrote our name at the top of a sheet of paper and began passing papers around the classroom. Everyone anonymously wrote a compliment on that person’s paper. The first thing I realized was that I had to compliment everyone in my class, even the kids who didn't like me or ones that I didn't talk with much. Finding and acknowledging positive traits about everyone was not as much of a challenge as I had anticipated. At the end of the activity, receiving a page full of compliments and reading through them, a grin grew across everyone’s face. It was a great activity; looking back I realize how practical and beneficial this mentality is, and should be continued on a daily basis, for a lifetime.

Receiving compliments is a challenge for many people. Approximately two thirds of compliments get rejected, credit gets passed on or they get ignored. If you gave someone a gift and when they opened it, immediately insulted it and told you to return it, how would that make you feel? Rejecting or re-insulting a compliment is much like that - Instead, we should be absorbing these feel good claims. Below are a few tips to help avoid the habit of rejecting compliments:

 

Do not:

 

Ignore it (e.g., changing the subject)

 

Refuse it (“yeah right”)

 

Feel obligated to return a compliment quickly (could come off as insincere)

 

Comeback with an insult to yourself  (“Oh, I wish I didn’t look so fat today”)

 

Seek more reassurance (“Are you sure?”)

 

 

Do:

 

Say thank you, with a smile (simple and sincere)

 

Elaborate how that makes you feel, if you feel comfortable (“Thank you for noticing! I am proud of it!”)

 

Believe it (many people forget this one)

 

Remember it (take a mental note)

 

Return a compliment later, or pay it forward (smiles and compliments are contagious)

 

Write it down (reference past compliments when you need a pick-me-up)

 

 

By following these simple rules, you are more likely to receive compliments, and sincere ones. Believe them. Embrace them. Build upon them.

 

Remembering someone complimenting a shirt, it will make you wear that shirt again, and this time with more confidence.

 

Remembering someone complimenting a presentation or project result, you will feel more confident speaking or performing that skill on the next project.

There is a difference between being confident and being cocky. I’m not saying to rub the compliments you receive in other’s faces, negatively. Reflect on compliments in private, and acknowledge your own personal strengths and gifts.

The Mother’s Day Mantra

“Sooner or later we all quote our mothers.” –Bert Williams

For me that is, “Would you believe it?”

It is the preface of recounting something remarkable, good and something true: The things that to others might seem coincidental but to her are fulfilling little miracles. The stories are short, but the impact lasts long.

I love that phrase and have embraced the concept as part of my learned genetics, my inheritance. My mantra. I always look for ways I can use it in my own life. I intentionally open myself to surpassing the every day what-ifs in hopes it will drive me to call my mom and begin an anecdote with “would you believe it”.

Did you ever imagine your life would be as effective as it is right now? Did you ever dream you’d come this far? That you would have the support and the opportunities you have been given?

Your mom did. Moms are our greatest life, business and health coaches. Moms push us when we settle in quick sand rather than pursue success. The only thing moms desire of us is to never doubt our capabilities and never pass up the possibilities.

There is one day dedicated to celebrating moms. But for all those other days the greatest gift we can give our mothers is to never stop trying. Envision life as an intense workout. To quote Jillian Michaels, mother to millions in the health and fitness industry and to her own children, “Unless you puke, faint or die, keep going.” Take a break if you have to, but keep going.

Bleed. Sweat. Cry. Keep going.

Because you won’t believe what’s on the other side of your finish line.

We all have mothers that have helped us get where we are and maybe you are one of them too. Strangers, authors, family, co-workers, doctors, TV personalities, bosses, neighbors, featured stories in the local newspaper; These are the people that we encounter that challenge us to walk through the mud and come out with a miraculous “would you believe it” story.

Think of the children’s book, “I love you to the moon”. Often that gravitational defying, all-encompassing love can be masked in persistent and redundant motivational lectures. That love may aggravate us, but that love will get us to the moon, if only we have the audacity to shoot for the starts.

So, what “would you believe it” story will excite a mom this Mother’s Day?

It Starts Right Now!

It starts right now!

You know what I’m talking about, right? I’m talking about now, this very moment. The beginning of the rest of your life is definitely worth celebrating.

“We waste so many days waiting for the weekend. So many nights wanting morning. Our lust for future comfort is the biggest thief of life.” – Joshua Glenn Park

Remember being younger, wasting so much time rushing and wishing to grow up? Do you ever miss those days and wonder why? Well starting now, make the most of the rest of your life. It’s valuable time. It’s your time.

Many people accept they will just work through a mundane week: Waiting for the weekend but ending up spending the second half of the weekend dreading the upcoming week of work. That’s over 70% of our lives “waiting” for something. What are you waiting for? Make the best of everyday: Set your goals and start taking steps towards them now. No matter how small, any progress is good progress.

Whether it’s with love, happiness or teaching you valuable skills and lessons, spend your personal time with people who uplift you. Surrounding yourself with people who are going to help push you to be the best version of you and what you can be. Adjust your daily habits based on your priorities: YOUR priorities. Don’t work, wish or wait your life away. Take care of yourself and do things that will create a healthy, comfortable and long life so you can help lift someone else up. (Reference the first sentence in this paragraph… See what I did there?)

Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

It starts right now.

Love, Life and Lyrics

"Love is all you need." -The Beatles

They've just celebrated the big 5-0. This auspicious anniversary of the fab four is just in time for the fab 1-4 of February. For all the loveys and all the lonely this Valentine's Day, let us make it about more than just stuffed bears and the scent of roses in the air.

Whether you're a lovey or a lonely this February 14th, we'll all find ourselves out-of-sync and fall out-of-love the other 364 days of the year and for that here are three things you have to have to get through what you have to get through:

1. You need to love yourself:

Be self-deprecating and lose your inhibitions. Snow angels, swinging, sliding, singing: Learn to laugh at yourself and make the things you can't stand about yourself- and think others can't either- into caricatures of your character. Confidence isn't the bi-product of perfection. Confidence is smiling with lettuce stuck in your teeth and not caring about it too much.

2. You need to surround yourself with people you love:

It's good to challenge yourself and test your boundaries: To live outside your comfort zone. You know, however, you are too far out there when you realize that you are in the midst of strangers with whom there's no communication or connection. Regroup and find your circle of family or appoint yourself an additional family made up of friends and allow their love to push you to the limits instead.

3. You need to love your job:

Don't lose your passion for (making a) living. Even if Monday-Friday are monotonous with the same day after day, week after week menial tasks, you can still fall a little in love with all of the dull. You can be a part of the circle of loving friends and family for those who suffer the same syndrome of Bluesday, everyday: A vase full of fresh flowers is like Tylenol for winter depression. A pair of lucky socks under your business shoes is first aid to balance the boa constrictions of double knotted laces. And hey, if you have to spruce up for work, why don't you Seuss up your tie, too, with a fish red or a fish blue? So,

"What's love got to do with it?" -Tina Turner

Everything. (If you did not answer with “Everything,” please re-read steps 1-3.)

All you need is love to prove that anything that drives you crazy is just a possibility to create a love story about your life.

Elevator Etiquette 101

Hold on guys, one bumpy ride awaits us. Tie your shoes, respect the personal bubble and try not to spill your red slushy on any white shirts.

Riding in an elevator is similar to that feeling you get riding over a hill too fast. Except the music, I think we can all agree upon that. Elevators are essentially known for three things: unforgettably forgettable toneless music, cliché jokes, fictitious blackout and bully scenes*.

*e.g. Die Hard, James Bond, Taken, The Office, Terminator

What if you got on 1 out of the 900,000 elevators in the US and it blacked out right when you reached your floor? About 3,000 people a year suffer this fate. Wouldn’t you like to know a little about your fellow passengers? With all the deodorant, hidden camera pranks, make-out, music and button happy (think Elf) jokes based on the interior existence of an elevator, we’ve conditioned ourselves to getting on, intently studying our footwear, and getting off.

An average elevator ride is 30-seconds. If you’re lucky you could get a 2-minute ride to make a new friend and establish a new relationship. As author Scott Stratton of UnMarketing says, “If you believe businesses are built on relationships, then make that your business.”

What will you do with those 30 seconds? Well, turn the clock back first. Once you start rushing toward the open elevator, whose jaws of death are closing, you’re reduced to that nightmarish slow-motion torture. It’s closing; you’re already running late and wait, what’s that? A random act of kindness: Allowing you to board, a hand slaps against one of the barricades, blocking its progress.

Scenario 1: You mumble thanks, slap your hand against the number board panel and depending on your palm size…again, think Elf.

Scenario 2: You make eye contact, thank them and find that chitchatting about the weather is a welcome distraction.

This is more than an elevator pitch. It is more than “30 seconds could save 30% on your car insurance” and yes, that math seems faulty. How are you going to spend your elevator ride? Are you going to pitch your personality or are you going to stand in the corner should it all go pitch black?

What do thirty seconds look like on an average day? In 30 seconds you can…

-Boot up your iMac

-Watch 5 Vines

-Floss 7 teeth*
*Unless, for example, you’re a hockey player and have dedicated many of your teeth to the passion of your sport.

-Cook half a meal of *Minute Rice
*Worx is not responsible if you consume partially cooked food.

-Update a Twitter *Post
*With 100 characters to spare. Average typing speed is 38-40wpm.

-Read 125-150 *Words.

Or you can make an elevator connection. You can start a relationship, and you can rest easy knowing that if you should be one of the 3,000 stranded in an elevator, it will not be with a complete stranger.

Experiences are a More Valuable Currency than Money

With the holiday season in full swing everyone seems to have that extra holiday cheer, right? Everyone is out shopping for stuff. Giving gifts, especially personal ones is great, but eventually most gifts end up unused, used up and thrown away or forgotten. Guess what can’t be taken away, thrown away or taken advantage of? Experiences.

Only you are responsible for how you feel. You can keep that holiday cheer all year long. Do you have a hard time looking on the bright side of things? If so, it’s okay, just know you are capable of transforming that mindset. You are in control of how you feel and what you do.

Little by little, practice enjoying the little (and big) things in life. The most simple, to just smile more. Smiles are contagious; it’s hard to make eye contact with someone who is smiling and not smile back, right? Each time you smile you throw a little feel-good party in your brain. Just the act of smiling activates neural messaging that benefits your health and *happiness.

Make yourself filthy rich with memories. There is limitless storage in your brain that you can reference at any time. Your house only has so much room to store that stuff.

Despite how others around you are feeling or acting, be in control of your feelings. Absorb the compliments and precious memories. Deflect the insults or rude comments. It’s not worth hearing and remembering. Remember, “It’s theirs, not yours.”

What steps are you taking to be filthy rich with happiness?

*Learn more about how smiles and happiness literally affects your brain and body here:
 http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile