Unthink to Destress

Stress makes you think that everything has to happen right now. This is an unrealistic, perfectionist point of view and I actively have to unthink myself out of this mentality from time to time. It is inescapable but how you handle stress is your choice. Here are some healthy ways to deal with it:

No one can drive the car unless you give him or her the keys. You cannot control the actions of other people, but you can control your reaction. Some food for thought: can you change the situation. If there is something you can do to improve how things are, then do it.  If not, worrying won’t change a thing.

Have a little less attitude and a little more gratitude. Our outlook has a profound effect on the way we deal with stressful situations. Negative attitudes (from others or yourself) can affect our spiritual, physical and mental wellbeing.

Relax. I cannot say this enough. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will not be equipped to take care of others. It is OK to focus on you for a little while; find something you enjoy and do it every day. It will give you fulfillment, and you will be more prepared for hurdles along the way.

Will this matter a year from now? A month? A week? Looking at the big picture will help you put things into perspective. If it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, you shouldn’t waste any energy worrying about it.

Stress is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to be. All of us need a reminder from time to time that we have total power over how stress affects us – if we don’t manage it, it can control us.

Relax!

Take a breather to take on the world.

Recently, I went on a weeklong camping trip in the wilderness of New England with my family. We had sporadic cell service, and even had to pull over and break out an ATLAS to find our way around. It was a nice escape from being available 24/7. It is no secret that taking time off can make you more productive. There is scientific evidence to prove it!

The more we try to keep up, the more trapped we become in the proverbial hamster wheel. The notion of accomplishing more by doing less seems absurd. A new and growing body of research across multiple disciplines shows that planned breaks – including daytime exercise, naps, longer sleep hours and more time away from the office can re-energize you; boosting productivity, creativity and job performance. I guess the boss was right all along in making us eat lunch away from our desks and encouraging walks outside on nice days.

In many work environments, downtime is considered wasted time. We rely on time to get things accomplished, but there is only a finite amount. We can’t make more hours in the day, but we can increase our energy. Energy also has a limit but, unlike time, it is renewable. Humans are not designed to burn continuous energy. We need periods of recovery to function. Our bodies are great at telling us when we need to recharge, but warning signs are often hidden by caffeine, sugar and stress hormones (adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol; respectively).

Working in 90-minute intervals with short breaks in between is a step in the right direction. Go outside: nature is more affordable than therapy. So is spending time doing things that matter. Taking the time for self-renewal can help you to be excellent at anything.

Tales of a Workin' Mama

Deadlines are looming, the phone is ringing, your child is being needy and clients need your attention. I don’t know about you, but for me this sounds like a typical day at the office. My job allows me the flexibility to bring my daughter with me to work several days a week. Because she is under the age of three, this can be a blessing and a curse. I constantly juggle chunks of productivity and being fully present in the moments shared with my little one.

Last night I had the opportunity to discuss the balance of working and being a mom with a few of my peers at the AAF-GF Roundtable for Workin Mamas. We covered a number of topics, including mom guilt, leaving work at work, balancing work and home life, maintaining a professional appearance, and being present at the moment. Before we left, we all made a promise to ourselves to put some of the solutions we came up with as a group into action.

Mom Guilt. How do you handle it? There is no right or wrong way. While we may not be there for every milestone (ex. Getting braces put on) the relationship we have built with our children remains just as strong. Since many of us have been working since before our children were born, they don’t know any different. Some of us bring our children to work, into our world. Instead of completely separating work and life, they are blended together.

While including children in your work means you can spend more time together, there is a time when we need to leave work at work. One of the mothers shared that she takes everything in her head and writes it down on a sheet of paper. This includes all of the to dos, work or not. Everyday, she tries to do three tasks off her list. After a while, she could get more accomplished and had the satisfaction of crossing items off. Shutting off mobile devices helps us realize that the world will go on if that email isn’t answered until tomorrow. This conversation led into balancing your personal life with a career. Learning to say no is a big step. It is OK to step away from what you have been doing if it no longer serves you. Prioritizing what really matters, like family, will help tremendously in future decision-making. If it doesn’t matter to you, then don’t do it.

Maintaining a professional appearance could mean something different for everyone. Some women work in an environment where there are rules. Others work in a more casual atmosphere, where individuals can dress for the style of the business. The key to all of this is to be authentic and dress for whatever suits you.

Perhaps the most important topic of the evening was practicing mindfulness and being purposeful with what you are doing. Most take a week-by-week approach, allowing time for themselves to recharge, time to plan ahead, and a conscious effort to put the phone away and live in the moment. When we are working, we are working. When we are home, we are home.

The Ten-Minute Time-out

It’s been, perhaps, the longest winter we’ve seen in our lifetime. 6 months, half a year of holidays, a new year and the innocent ground hog that woke up on the wrong side of the hole.

But then we had one beautiful day.

There I was, this past Tuesday, sitting at my desk beside my co-workers, longingly staring out a window that was too small to capture the big earth. The boss came inside and said, take a ten-minute time-out and take a walk around the block, enjoy this beautiful weather. I was trying to earn a paycheck doing what I loved and my boss, Laura Wallace, just dictates we take a moment from the busyness of making a living to make a life? Unbelievable!

What kind of ethically responsible human does that kind of thing, who just encourages others to stop, take a time-out and smell the scent of deceased snow? One who took Dolly Parton’s words to heart, that’s who: Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.

Brilliant violet rays seeped through my skin, making me feel all mushy inside even as I squinted against its power. 12 hours made us forget about all that discomfort of long johns and lacing up boots every. Single. Morning. The clouds didn’t just have a silver lining, so did the mud and the potholes eaten away like slugs under a bucket of salt.  Yes, when the weather radar forewarned a 50% chance of precipitation I was so high on the magic of March and spring I thought, should any showers hinder us from saluting the sun, I’ll just pull a Gene Kelley and sing in the rain. That is what dryers are for, are they not?

Maybe it’s not a hall pass from your cubicle, casual Friday, or an early dismissal but take the weekend and make it worthwhile. Make a life; make it come alive. Be a Goldilocks in a world of possibilities. Try everything until you find something that is just right.  And hold those 12 hours close. No matter where or when they happened, let your ultra violet rays resurface on the days that just need a little life.

P.S. It wasn’t long after that walk that fried ice-cream appeared on our desks. Ah, so that’s where the snow rests in peace. 

Your Simple Life Manifesto - Part 2

It is almost February and you are well on our way to fulfilling our New Year promises – if not, that’s OK. It isn’t too late to get yourself together. As mentioned in the first part of this series, achieving simplicity in your life is not a straight line. Savor what happens along the way, and remember that if something works for someone else, it doesn’t have to work for you.

The second part of this three-part series focuses on ways to simplify the professional aspects of your life: finances, work and technology. These hints are not for everyone, because this is your own journey.

Money – You need money to sustain your lifestyle, to have a home, a car, groceries and the basics. It also allows for life experiences, enabling us to take vacations or finance an education for our children. It may be tempting to hide from your money troubles, praying it will all work out, but there are steps you can take to simplify your finances:

• Save money regardless of your income. Design a budget that takes care of the absolute basics, saving the rest for a rainy day.
• Always use cash. It is easier to see where your money is going if you have physical cash, and if you don’t have it you won't spend it.
• Think before you buy. Is the item something you really need?
• Save your receipts. It will save a lot of heartache if you need to return something.

Work Life – You spend a large part of your life working. For some, you may spend more time working than you do with your family or friends. If you are working longer hours, take a moment and ask yourself what you are really getting out of it?

• Can you work fewer hours? Could you readjust your spending habits to make more time for yourself?
• Leave work at work. If you are bringing work home, it may be time to reassess why you are not finishing it at work. What value do your and your workplace get by you taking work home every day?
• Stop working weekends. It may not seem like a big deal, but eventually this will catch up to you and you will burn out. Block off every weekend for the next few months – from now on, not a single one can include work.
• Simplify work tasks. A never-ending list of to-do tasks is unproductive because there is no way to get it all done. Prioritize; do what is necessary then move forward.
• Work from home. Are you spending a lot of time commuting to and from work? Is there a way to work from home a few days a week to take some of the pressure off and save money on gas?
• Breaks are essential to productivity. Even if your work is your passion, breaks are important to keeping you motivated and refreshed. Step away from the desk to enjoy lunch or take a walk to get a fresh perspective.
• Clear the clutter. A clear desk paves the way for a clear mind. Uncluttering removes distractions and keeps you organized. Schedule a day, perhaps every Friday afternoon, to clean off your desk before leaving work.
• Technology – Your online life can quickly turn into a big mess, with websites that you forgot about signing up for, unread emails and various bookmarks.
• Purge it. Do a massive purge of all things that are cluttering up your computer, do it regularly, and keep things simple. Set aside time to address emails, and answer, file or delete them once read.

• Go on a media diet. TV, Internet, radio, magazines, etc. can be major time suckers if you allow them. Take regular media fasts (maybe try weekends) where you are completely unconnected to your phone, video games, or television. Set timers on areas known to be time-suckers if you are concerned about how much time is spent online. Enforcing regular breaks will simplify this part of your life dramatically.
• Communication. Email pings, phone rings and texts are a convenient and useful way to communicate with people. If you aren’t careful, these can ruin productivity, proving to be a major distraction. Set aside one time per day to answer emails, make phone calls and return messages.

Stay tuned for part three of Your Simple Life Manifesto as we explore ways to simplify your personal and mental health. Keeping things simple leads to less worry with more time to do what you love with those you love.